Tag Archives: role of a husband in marriage

Dilemma 5 – "Foundation of the Family"

A strong family foundation is the most significant spiritual weapon.

The Role of a Husband.

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having a spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. Ephesians 5: 23-30

Be a leader.

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God. 1 Corinthians 11:3 KJV Bible For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:23-24 In his commentary on his new book on biblical marriage, Dr. Peters points out that the Most High .. Places the ultimate responsibility on the shoulders of husband… in being the Priest, the leader, the provider, the spiritual head of the family… being the Head. The Head doesn’t mean to exert alpha male-ism, where he can misuse, beat, torment, treat her as a sex slave… but to nurture her and lead her and the family to the Most High. Men who are leaders get their instructions from the Most High. They take over, control, guide, and get things done. The Feminist movement and Slavery robbed Men of their place in the home while exerting women above the Man but with the Most High’s design for marriage, we will overcome. When God presented Eve to Adam in the Garden, Adam received her as a gift of great value to the Most High and him. When husbands, particularly Israelite husbands, do not treat their wives as a precious gift from the Most High and helpmate, they can cause those wives to search for a way to find significance and value as persons, often outside the Most High’s will.

Love your wife

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having a spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this, the cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. Ephesians 5:25-31 One of the best ways to do that is to affirm her constantly. Let her know verbally that you value her, respect her, and love her. Serve your wife. The Savior, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands and that he was come from God, and went to God; He riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself. After that, he poureth water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded. John 13: 4-5

When is the last time you washed her feet, brought her a gift, meet some of her needs. What troubles her daily, the fears she may have, and her pressures? Have you washed her with the water of the word? You must fill her cup, she fills the little ones daily. Our love for her is conveyed through action.

1. Be a leader (Priest of your home) initiate the leadership responsibility. This role was never intended for women to do. 2. Be a provider (Foot all financial responsibilities of the family) 3. A self-controlled man (Disciplined in the Bible) 4. Be a servant ( a man after the Most High own heart) 5. Teach your wife to be right with the heavenly father. To follow his standards and not the world’s standards. Glamour is for magazine covers not for everyday life. 6. Be an influencer to your family the way the creator meant it to be. Providing for your wife and family also means taking the initiative in helping meet her spiritual needs. You do this by modeling godly character, by praying with her, by spending time together in the Bible and looking for ways to encourage her spiritually.

A bone of my Bone and Flesh of my Flesh To be a frontrunner, a lover, and a servant is to accommodate your life to the life of the gift God has given you—your wife. Give up your life for hers and, at the judgment seat of Christ, He will say, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”

Dr. Peters, a married man of 30 years

Q: What is your secret to longevity in married? Dr. Peters: Keeping the Most High first, secondly loving my wife as Christ loves the Church. Not letting anyone come against my wife, not even our children. My wife is a gift from the Most High. Q: What advice would you give to a man thinking about entering into marriage? Dr. Peters: About 20 years ago, a man came into my office for marriage counseling, at that time, he blessed me by saying, “God created the family before he created the Church. The needs of my family come before anything, other than the Most High God. I never forgot what he said there, and later I would discover that what he was saying was a Biblical concept. A man must be the Most High first with the execution of the commandments, teach his family, and love his wife. Q: Give a wisdom pearl to share? Dr. Peters: I will tell a man never to compliment a woman higher than you would your wife, treat her as she is the most beautiful woman in the world. Q: Do you think a woman should work? Dr. Peters: That is really not what the Most High God intended from the beginning, our children need to be taught, she can stay home, I will provide. So my answer is HER place in our home. Q: What makes a Godly (Most High) husband? Dr. Peters:

1. Self Disciplined Man-

The ability to control your own behavior, especially in terms of reactions and impulses And the LORD God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. Genesis 2:15

2. Provider –

A woman should always be better than when she marries a man. Her needs and the children needs should be met in every way. The scriptures clearly say that a man is supposed to be the chief in terms of finance for his family. A woman is there to assist him with the house and the children. But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own home, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel. 1 Timothy 5:8 In all labor there is profit: but the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury. Proverbs 14:23 Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest. How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? When wilt thou arise out of thy sleep? Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and they want as an armed man? Proverbs 6:6-11

3. Communicator

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 Pray for her and read the bible to her. Listen to her problems and be by her side.

4. Selfless

“He, that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy.” Proverbs 29:1 Think of her feelings and put her needs before yours. 5. Protector …giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 Lay your life down for her, let no one hurt her, or speak ill of her in your presence. Give all due respect and make others around you adapt that behavior.

6. Independent Man

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 Making your wife only second to Christ, most importantly, on this order the Most High, the Savior, then your wife, then children. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24 (KJV) The Bible shows us by the “leave and cleaves” concept of marriage that as husbands once we are married, our parents now come second to our wife. So when all things are equal, while our wife comes second to God – she is to be our first priority amongst our family members and anyone but the Most High himself. But I want you to notice a key phrase I use here “when all things are equal.” “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it…So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:” – Ephesians 5:25 & 28-29 (KJV) Our children come after our wives but before other family members and priorities Remember the passage from I Timothy 5:4-8 where the Apostle Paul tells us that the first way we put our religion into practice is in our home? The needs of our children come only after our service to the Most High and then the needs of our wife. But the needs our children come before other priorities. “A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just.” – Proverbs 13:22 (KJV) “The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.” – Proverbs 20:7 (KJV) “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they are discouraged.” – Colossians 3:21 (KJV) “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” – Ephesians 6:4 (KJV) “As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children,” – I Thessalonians 2:11 (KJV) As fathers, we have a responsibility to care for the physical and spiritual needs of our children. In the same way that marriage is to be a model of the relationship between God and his people, so too the father/child relationship is yet another model of the relationship between our heavenly father and us as his children. We as fathers are not to discourage our children or needlessly anger them, but instead, we are to bless them, exhort them, comfort them, discipline them, teach them in the ways of God and love them as God loves his children.

 

Photo courtesy of Abdul Oma P

ROLE OF A WIFE

A godly wife fears the Lord. She seeks the Most High will over the approval of anyone else on earth. Her fear of the Most High makes her aware of the future consequence of her choices. A godly woman avoids any present situation that would be destructive for her future usefulness to the Most High. She begins her day with prayer. She lives a fasted lifestyle. Never let the sun go down on her wrath. Her body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and she seeks wisdom for the answers. You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor the Most High with your life. Always Seeks to be truthful in speech and motives.

But instead seek ye the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you. Luke 12:31 Calling him Lord (Master) Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. 1 Peter 3:6 KJV When your husband is faithful (forsaking all other women) only has eyes for you. He brings food to the table, fun money in your pocket, pays the bills devoted every time they are due. What is there is to complain about? Most women would say, “ You hit the jackpot, the lottery, and the winner’s circle of husbands.” We are the daughters of Sarah, and you think we can learn from our matriarch Sarah is that she reverenced her husband, Abraham. Reverencing your husband puts him in the impossible place as your leader and protector. The word says that death and life are in the power of the tongue. So with that said, you are lining yourself up to receive a king, not an ordinary King but an Israelite King. Here are the reasons I called my late husband Lord:

1. Feared the Most High 2. My Strong tower 3. He always provided for our family 4. Treat me like a Queen. 5. He loves me as Christ loved the Church. 6. My protector 7. My spiritual leader 8. Faithful and honest 9. A man of integrity 10. A peacemaker 11 Didn’t hold grudges 12. Patient with me 13. Excellent Father Bonus * rubbed my feet every night*

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12: 4 It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a full house. Proverbs 21:9

Help- Mate

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him. Genesis 2:18 The Most High saw that Adam needed someone alongside him like the animals. The duty of a good wife, who wants to see a healthy marriage and family, is to be the counterpart to her mate in such a way that that which God has given the both of them, she must be by his side as his helper. She is not just some extra on the side, she is an indispensable part of His Divine plan. So the question is, “What is a help-mate??” Now, the postulation, Daughters of Zion, is that if the Most High expects you to be a help-meet to your husband, the assumption is that you know he needs you. Admittedly, men are not complete in and of themselves. That’s the purpose the Most High blessed him with a woman. So, if you are finding fault with your man, he needs help; and guess who the helper is. If you are saying, “My man is messed up!” Guess who the helper is. You cannot complain that he is not what he ought to be if you’re not fulfilling your role as the helper! God made you the helper because man desperately needs help. He desperately needs someone to come alongside who will be different than him, to complete him, thereby fulfilling the Divine plan of the Most High. So, whenever the faults of your husband show up, there are opportunities for you to fulfill your scriptural duty; not merely to fuss and cuss about how messed up he is, but to analyze the kind of helper God has called you to be. In fact, if you are the complete opposite of your husband, excellent! That means you can fill in all the blank spots where he needs help as he can for you. That’s not an opportunity for repugnance, but an opportunity for assistance. You are the one to help and assist him in his work for the Most High in both in his calling and your family together.

Submit to your husband

Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife sees that she reverence her husband. Ephesians 5:33 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Ephesians 5:22-23 To submit to your husband does not mean you agree with him on everything, it means you recognize his position as head of the household to accomplish the Most High purpose as it relates to the family. You may say, “I can’t submit to that man. Preposterous!” He is not right in what he says… Blah Blah Blah … but we must because the most beautiful thing a woman can do is to submit and reverence her husband so your prayers will not be hindered. I never saw prettier with the husband leading.

Attributes of a Virtuous Wife

1. Do Him good all the days of your life. *Wash his feet *Assist him his purpose or ministry *Prayer for him and with him *Anoint him with oil * Never belittle your husband * Never talk down to him. * Never ignore him. * Never let him feel replaceable *Never play down your need for him *Never cause him to feel embarrassed *Never lie to him *Never bring up his mistakes or past sins *Tell him you appreciate him *Never tell others his business Before you were his wife. You were a Child of the Most High. So with that said, you should treat him accordingly to how you would treat your creator. Remember he is your brother in the kingdom. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12 Is there really a yardstick to measure how constantly determined you are to please your husband. Do you wake up in the morning thinking of him? Your agenda, after the Most High, should be him, and your children. My husband used to tell that, “A man really can’t resist a sweet wife on that cares for her husband.” Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is useful to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Ephesians 4:29 I don’t feel like it tonight! I have a headache! Excuses don’t you know your body is not your on?

2. Compliment Him

You’re a mighty Man of Valor, my handsome King, you are Chosen of men, The apple of the Most High’s eye, You are made in his image and likeness, I appreciate all you do for our family, you are the love of my life, you’re so handsome, my king, my provider… etc.… I think you get my meaning. My husband always made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman in the world. He always complimented me. The one thing I noticed that when I praised him, he turned red and his chest rose up a bit more. I think the only other time that this occurred was after sex, after that he was willing to move a mountain for me if I asked. Praise ye the LORD. Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power. Psalms 150:1 KJV The Most High loves praise and what makes you think that your husband doesn’t?

3. Be Modest in Attire.

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; 1 Timothy 2:9 KJV When the ungodly woman’s clothing points to herself and her body parts instead of the Most High and his holiness. Remember the words of Paul in the New Testament? God emphasizes the beauty of the unseen character. The flesh flaunts the body, the Most High beautifies the spirit. I also want women to dress unpretentiously, making wise choices while shopping. Let your inner strength be your guide, not your looks. But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of a high price.1 Peter 3:4 Pull it down, Pull it up – surely you knew before you left the house this would happen! No man wants to go out in public with a wife that is half dressed and spend the evening fighting off advances or comments from other men. In today’s world, there is so much focus on what you look like and what you possess, we as the Daughters of Zion must set the standard of what really matters. Not to let the powers-that-be dictate to us what we should look like.

In other words, the real attractiveness of a Daughter of Zion. After all, our real strength is in being empathetic and compliance. Being subservient to our own husbands, and showing that through placidity and quiet calmness. Although, this quite simple, it not far well with the quote on quote, feminist movement. Which places a woman in a male role exerting the woman over the man. This female domination has become the norm of society. But in the eyes of the Most High, it is not his will for the woman. Look suitable for your husband. Take care of your health, keep your body clean, workout, and eat right. This will excite him to come home and ravish you.

4. Clean the House

There is an old adage that says, “Godliness is next to cleanliness.” which states how you take care of your house is how you will take care of your family. Your husband works hard daily to provide time to clean your home weekly, he will be happy, and so will you.

5. Parenting

In other words, she assists the husband by helping with the children in their daily needs; it is not her duty alone. The husband’s responsibility is to manage the household, but the wife must help him. She is not to replace him, but she is to help him. And here we have a woman who’s so committed, so dedicated, that she wakes up early before everyone else to make sure that all the bases are covered with food and preparation for the day. That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God is not blasphemed. Titus 2:4-5 KJV I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. 1 Timothy 5:14 KJV Now, why does the Most High require a wife to prioritize the household? Because one of her duties is to raise the next generation of the chosen seed. And if you have to leave the house so much that you cannot assist your husband in a significant way, as a parent and guardian of the children, then you’re not fulfilling what the Most High has told you to do. That’s why the aged women “…teach the young women to be sober, to be lovers of their husbands, to be lovers of their children… Never let the outside pull of the world keep you from being a dynamic wife and mother. Never let the schedule outside dictate the schedule inside. She also helps him personally. Remember the Most High gave us our children to raise and teach them not anyone else. Think about it. Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it Proverbs 22:6 KJV

6. Become the Resident Chef.

“She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.” Proverbs 31:15 She can’t boil water? Learn to cook, take a cooking class. Youtube as quite a lot of videos that will aid you in your quest to become the family chef. Nothing worse than your hard-working husband comes home to KFC every night. There is no perfect marriage, it is the closure of two imperfect people coming together but if we do our part the Most High will give us the increase. We must pray and fast. A family that prays together stays together. Treat each other with kindness and respect and raise our children in the admiration of the Most High. The biblical marriage of the chosen people should be the example to the rest of the world and how it should be.

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman [is] the man; and the head of Christ [is] God. 1 Corinthians 11:3 KJV

Husband:

1 Corinthians 11:3 KJV – But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman [is] the man; and the head of Christ [is] God. 1 Timothy 3:5 KJV – (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) Genesis 18:19 KJV – For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him. John 15:12-17 KJV – This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. 1 Timothy 3:4 KJV – One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; Genesis 2:24 KJV- Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Ephesians 3:14-15 KJV – For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Acts 16:31-34 KJV – And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house. Proverbs 15:17 KJV – Better [is] a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith. Colossians 3:19 KJV – Husbands, love [your] wives, and be not bitter against them. Ephesians 5:21 KJV – Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Malachi 2:16 KJV – For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for [one] covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously

Wife:

1 Corinthians 11:3 KJV – But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman [is] the man; and the head of Christ [is] God. John 15:12-17 – This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Psalms 128:3 KJV – Thy wife [shall be] as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table. 1 Peter 3:1 KJV- Likewise, ye wives, [be] in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; Acts 16:31-34 KJV – And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house. Proverbs 15:17 KJV- Better [is] a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred in addition to that. Ephesians 5:21 KJV – Submitting yourselves one to another in fear of God.

Children:

Colossians 3:20 KJV – Children, obey [your] parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. John 15:12-17 KJV – This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Proverbs 22:6 KJV – Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Exodus 20:12 KJV – Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. Ephesians 6:1-3 – Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

As a child, I knew that I was special, everyone around me told me so. I made a decision early on to keep my virginity until marriage. Through this life-changing decision, I learned that boys and men had a lot of respect for me, and they did a lot of things for me. I never had to open my legs to win their favor. They showered me with attention, affection, and gifts. Your daughters and sons are gifts that need to be taught that they are special, who they are in the Most High and her purpose. Teach our sons and daughters who they are and their divine purpose of life.

We need to teach our sons:

How to be providers — To take care of their families, the primary provider of wealth. How to be the Priests — Lead their family into the truth of the Most High’s word. How to love their wives as Christ loved the church — Love and lead their wives as the Most High leads them. How to not be lead by the flesh but by the Spirit — Developing his faith and relationship with the Most High before marriage, etc.

We need to teach our daughters to distinguish between:

A man who flatters her and a man who compliments her. — Oh baby you so fine I’ll drink your bath water (wrong) — You are fearfully and wonderfully made (right) A man who spends money on her and a man who invests in her. —I bought you this coat now what you going to give me (wrong) — I feel the Most High is leading me to provide you with this (right) A man who views her as property and a man who sees her correctly. — you are mine so lay down and give me what I want (wrong) — you are virtuous women (right) A man who lusts after her and a man who loves her. — you are wearing those jeans (wrong) — you are a child of the Most High I love you. (right) A man who believes he’s a gift to women and a man who thinks she’s a gift to him. — I can have any women I want, you are blessed to have me (wrong) — You are bone of my bone flesh of my flesh O daughter of Zion. (right) And then teach our sons to be that kind of man. — A man that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing! (right)

There is no greater love than the love that the Most High has for us…

He is her GOLD

I will make a man more precious than fine gold; even a man than the golden wedge of Ophir. Isaiah 13:12. Sirach 26:1 A fortunate man.

Him…

Your my obsession and I can’t seem to get you off my mind. It drives me crazy, but I think about you always… your safety. I want you. No, I need you. I crave everything about you. I love you; you’re my Queen… my soul mate .. My lover…the mother of my children… my rib. I love you as the Savior loved the Church and gave himself for it. Just being close to you I know there is a God to provide me with something like you. Until you, I have never known a woman. Your body, your heart, your mind, and your desires all belong to me. No one can ever take what’s mine and make no mistake you are mine. Is it possible to stay this way forever? As I look into your eyes, I ponder the mysteries of marriage? Our Intimacy is not purely physical. It is the act of connecting with you so deeply as we become one flesh.

This artwork is the property of its respective owners.

She is his RUBY

Who can find a virtuous woman? For her, price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her….Proverbs 31:10-11.

Her….

I’ve been surrounded by love since the day I was born. It is all I’ve ever known. It consumes me, it suffocates me, and no matter how far I run, love is always at my heel threatening to devour me. My love … is consuming! I never believed I could feel anything else until the moment I saw him. He has given me himself. You have taught me the truth… allowed me to take my place beside you, to want, to desire more than I have ever thought possible. Your my protection…my strong tower…my leader… my safety… my future… I am yours…. I was created for you. His love is enough to keep me in the light of truth.

What is Love?

From the time you are born. Remember that first moment where you saw that movie where the man woos the woman with that first embrace, look, the candy, the flowers, the late night walks in the park, the cello playing in the background, then came marriage, and then the baby carriage. You were officially introduced to romanticism, and all the characters lived happily ever after. For me, it was my first Barbie being in love with Ken, the hours of making them kiss, just hoping to one day grow up to experience that kind of love. Little did I know that through society, I was being conditioned to believe in fairy tales with materialistic values not based on real love but on what a man could buy me to show his appreciation. Most of what we grew up to believe was the pure fantasy from soap operas to your romantic love films. How many of us can say we actually know what love is. Charity suffereth long, [and] is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether [there be] prophecies, they shall fail; whether [there be] tongues, they shall cease; whether [there be] knowledge, it shall vanish away. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 KJV

My interview with ArchbishopR

Q: What is love?

ArchbishopR: Good question! If you ask any person, “What is love? The answers may be quite similar but love really doesn’t involve feelings. They change like the wind. The word Love can be romanticized by music, literature, and movies. We all yearn to recreate that intimacy based on what seems so ideal. Our deepest longings shape what defines love — passion, perfection, and happiness. When we express love, we develop a strong emotional attachment, anticipating our love to be returned. What do I receive out of the relationship? What’s my level of contentment? Our feelings focus upon discovering that one individual who satisfies all our heart’s desires. Sadly, what nourished and warmed our love for one season often withers and grows cold. “The course of true love never did run smooth. Sacrificial love requires that we give what we value most: our hearts, minds, souls, and strength. Real love does not always follow our natural inclinations; it is not an impulse from feelings. Love can only be understood from the actions it prompts. In a response to, “What is Love?” it is erroneous to say “love is God.” God created love, not the reverse. He deliberately chose to express His love to us — revealing the very nature of God Himself. God Is Sacrificial – God initiated an eternal love relationship with us before we loved Him (1 John 4:10). God Is Merciful – God extended the wealth of His kindness even when we were undeserving of His love (Ephesians 2:4-5). God Is Faithful – Even in the most extreme circumstances, God’s love for us remains secure (Romans 8:35, 38-39). God did not need to create the universe. He made that choice as an expression of His ultimate love for us. Then God created us a certain way — to experience all that perfect love was meant to be (Song of Songs 4:9-10; 8:6; 1 John 4:7-12).

SEX in MARRIAGE

“Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempts you not for your incontinency.” 1 Corinthians 7:5 KJV.

The physical benefits of Sex in marriage are astounding.

1. It is honorable in the eyes of the Most High for it is a gift that the Most High has given to mankind for enjoyment and to have children.

2. It secures the bonding of you and your spouse, out of all the animal kingdom, a woman and man are to look face to face. Sex can make you closer as you develop soul ties a longing and closeness to your husband or wife. The human touch and the social kiss each day draw your closer in love. Kissing also keeps you from getting cavities.

3. Having body pain or aches as you have sex with your husband or wife it releases endorphins which send signals to the brain to counteract depression.

4 . Sex will calm your nerves and the cares of this world.

5. It can cure a headache or sinus pressure.

6. Making love is a spectacular beauty treatment. Scientists have discovered that when a woman has sex, it produces a large amount of estrogen that gives shine and softness to hair. It promotes blush in cheeks and lips so that explains why red lipstick is highly preferred among men.

7 . Sex is an aerobic exercise it burns calories and gives a good stretch of various muscle groups. It counteracts stress and opens sweat glands for detox.

8. Give you a sense of euphoria and happiness as chocolate satisfies so does sex and  promotes sensual aggressiveness of enjoyment.

9. It makes you feel more attractive to know that your husband or wife wants you.

10. Helps to rest better at night.

The answer: Romans 12:1

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.”

“Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.” Ecclesiastes 12:13 KJV